Monday, July 14, 2014

No more Walls for this Girl- I am Ready to Build some Bridges

So...connection has always been hard for me. Not sure why-part of it is my introverted nature, part of it is straight up related to my own issues... Maybe it is my sin, maybe it is lessons learned from my past- doesn't matter- what I know is that God is showing me that there is much more for me. You see...there is a part of me that would rather build walls, instead of bridges. I let people in and I know God, my family, my friends love me but there are some tender places I have kept walled in. Walls are tricky- they feel safe, they trick me into thinking that my heart is protected from hurt, that somehow I am insulated against anything painful.
The problem is that these walls don't keep me safe and maybe they protect me from certain types of pain, but not all pain. These walls do something scary to me...
They shrink me down, they empty me out, they make me smaller.

But when I break them down it hurts- straight up- letting myself love and be loved HURTS something major and God and I are working this out because the hurt of being walled in is much more painful!

Now- don't get me wrong- boundaries are good and they are necessary- but for this season of my life- I need to do some demolition.
                                                                                                                                                                        Being on vacation- spending constant time with people always challenges me.

But this year has been different- instead of hiding away and pulling back, I pressed into those walls and I knocked some down. I let myself laugh more, I let myself share more, I let myself forgive more, I let myself RISK. I am pretty excited because I think there is a lot inside of me that God is trying to set free. When I was a little girl I loved a movie called the Secret Garden. It has a detailed plot, but the jist of it is that in the end, this garden that has been locked for years is finally opened up by a little girl who has lost her parents and a crippled boy who lives in the same home as her. And the garden brings them all healing as they tend and grow it into what it was meant to be. The crippled boys father comes out and he reconnects with the boy after years of isolation and also becomes a surrogate father to the little girl. It is beautiful. I think God wants to do that with us-open up our hearts so that he can plant and prune and tend and grow something beautiful that will draw others in and ultimately draw others to Him.

It is time for some of us wall-dwellers to reach out and knock down not only our own walls but those of others who are in hiding. There are so many Moms out there who are walled in with laundry, messy marriages, past hurts, addictions, fears, rejection and we need to come along side them and help them in their own demolition. 
The only way is through Him- our Jesus, through His Word which changes us and makes us new and through community- the body of Christ. Love you ladies!


Shelly Denton said...

Wow Liz! I really like this one!! I thin people expect that I do not have this problem because I am an extrovert but really it is a big deal. "Sometimes we put up walls. Not to keep people out. But to see who cares enough to knock them down. That is powerful!! So much to learn about ourselves. Everything I hear makes me question everything I know.........

Elizabeth Jones said...

Shelly- I am so glad this spoke to you my dear sister. I think at a young age, a lot of us have learned to put up walls through hurts and brokenness in our own families. God wants to make us WHOLE. I believe that now more than ever before. But thankfully- this is a process He takes us through at a pace we can handle-He is gentle. Love you Shelly!

Elizabeth Jones said...

I also want to add that in some cases, professional counseling is needed to work through these walls and tender areas. I think this is important to note. Lastly I wanted to note that working through issues with trusted Godly sisters in Christ is important. Having a few women who you can go to in confidence is so necessary. I have one girlfriend that I know will always point me back to Jesus and to the TRUTH in the Word when I need supports.