The problem is that these walls don't keep me safe and maybe they protect me from certain types of pain, but not all pain. These walls do something scary to me...
They shrink me down, they empty me out, they make me smaller.
But when I break them down it hurts- straight up- letting myself love and be loved HURTS something major and God and I are working this out because the hurt of being walled in is much more painful!
Now- don't get me wrong- boundaries are good and they are necessary- but for this season of my life- I need to do some demolition.
Being on vacation- spending constant time with people always challenges me.
But this year has been different- instead of hiding away and pulling back, I pressed into those walls and I knocked some down. I let myself laugh more, I let myself share more, I let myself forgive more, I let myself RISK. I am pretty excited because I think there is a lot inside of me that God is trying to set free. When I was a little girl I loved a movie called the Secret Garden. It has a detailed plot, but the jist of it is that in the end, this garden that has been locked for years is finally opened up by a little girl who has lost her parents and a crippled boy who lives in the same home as her. And the garden brings them all healing as they tend and grow it into what it was meant to be. The crippled boys father comes out and he reconnects with the boy after years of isolation and also becomes a surrogate father to the little girl. It is beautiful. I think God wants to do that with us-open up our hearts so that he can plant and prune and tend and grow something beautiful that will draw others in and ultimately draw others to Him.
It is time for some of us wall-dwellers to reach out and knock down not only our own walls but those of others who are in hiding. There are so many Moms out there who are walled in with laundry, messy marriages, past hurts, addictions, fears, rejection and we need to come along side them and help them in their own demolition.
The only way is through Him- our Jesus, through His Word which changes us and makes us new and through community- the body of Christ. Love you ladies!