Tuesday, September 16, 2014

When You Think Working Outside the Home is Second Best

It's funny how when I started this blog- I thought it would be all about being a working mom and then I started writing and it just became about me and what God was teaching and showing me that I felt called to share. 
That said- I wanted to share a bit about my journey as a CWM...

I was sitting with a dear friend at Panera about a year ago...she work full-time outside the home just like me. I always noticed that although she has struggles and challenges, that she appeared peaceful and confident about her role as a CWM. We were talking about various things and we had a pause in the conversation and I said to her,

"You know what? I really have not yet come to believe in my head/heart that working FT outside the home is just as good, worthy, or even on the same level, as being a stay at home Mom. I really look at myself and think I am somehow on Plan B. and not living God's best for me."

She looked at me and said something I will never forget,

"She said, 'Liz, I am a mother. I work full-time outside the home. The ground is level at the foot of the cross for myself, for the stay-at-home Mama, for all of us."

And she said it with such confidence and peace and I let it sink in. I let it sink in for months (in fact she doesn't even know that I thought about it for so long), and finally I have come to believe it and know it and live it.

Does this mean that I think working outside the home is always best for us and our kids? Absolutely not-I think it is a very personal decision that only a woman and her husband can make.

I believe that many choices we make in life (not just about work) can be wrong and influenced by our sinful nature.

But at the end of the day- there is nothing in the Bible that says that it is a sin for a women to work outside the home. No where. So if you are concerned, know that it is not sinful, and ask God to show you this truth. If you feel this is second best, that somehow you are hurting your children, neglecting them or not providing for them the way you think is best, pray, pray and pray some more for clarification. Observe them, think about how your time is spent when you are with them. Think about changes you can make, ways to be more intentional and if there is room for flexibility.

At the end of the day, as Moms, our job is to follow the Bible and we are to answer to God about our life.

So, what does the Bible say about being a Mom and what should our lives look like when we are living out GOD'S BEST:

·         Moms are to wear strength and dignity, we are to open our mouths with wisdom and teach kindness, we are to look well to the ways of our household and not be idle Proverbs 31:25-30. 
·         We are to remember that our children are a heritage from the Lord and a reward Psalm 127:3.
·         We are to train up our child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it  Proverbs 22:6.
·         We are to have a sincere faith 2 Timothy 1:5.
·         We are not to provoke our children to anger but discipline them and teach them in the instruction of the Lord Ephesians 6:4.
·         We are to teach our children diligently and talk about the Lord when we are at home, when we are walking, when we lie down and when we rise Deuteronomy 6:6-7.
·         We are to love our children, to be self-controlled, pure, busy at home, kind and submissive to our husbands Titus 2:1-15.
·         We are to teach our children and great will be their peace Isaiah 54:13 and this teaching should be like a graceful garland and pendant around their necks Proverbs 1:8-9.
·         We are to tell our children about what we have seen God do and not forget. We are to make them known to our children. We are to tell them the things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We should not hide them from our children, but tell them about the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done Deuteronomy 4:9, Psalm 78:3-7.
·         We are to choose who we will serve and declare that as for our home, we will serve the Lord Joshua 24:15.

Now, I will say sweet Mama, if working outside the home has made doing the above impossible or extremely challenging, than maybe an honest look at your situation is warranted. But if not, keep pressing on and be intentional in your mothering. And remember that the ground is level at the foot of the cross- your worth as a mother is not tied into your working status, it is tied into Christ and who He says you are.

Much love!


Leah said...

Hi, I'm new to your blog and found it by searching for something that speaks to me as a Christian working mom. I love what you said here and think it is so true. I have found that when I am closest to God I feel that I am using the gifts he gave me well by working. If I'm doubting my decision to work it is most often based on perceived or real judgment I feel from others. So, what I need to work on is not to let other's opinions rattle me so much and be confident in the Lord!

Elizabeth Jones said...

Leah- welcome to the blog! I am so glad you found a space where you could find encouragement. That is what this site is all about. Being confident in the Lord is hard for all of us Mama's who work. You are so right to remind yourself to stay focused on your walk with God first and foremost. That is where your strength lies and that is when you can sense His calling and confirmation of your work outside the home. God Bless!