Thursday, April 23, 2015

Be Kind to Yourself

It happened this week...I woke up with a migraine (never had one before) and felt pains in my chest. I took off work and did some serious time with the Lord. I asked for prayer from my #1 girls and I talked with my husband. I waited and prayed and I got the message that I had been hearing for months but not LISTENING to-

"You are getting ahead of me again Liz, you don't have to solve all of the problems in your life, stop, you need to trust me, just do what you can do and let me take care of the rest."

And then...I had to send out the e-mails I had been dreading- "I am so sorry for being three months behind on sending out the membership renewals. I have bitten off more than I can chew." "I am so sorry but I cannot take on that project this summer, please take my name off of the list of providers." "I'm sorry but I cannot continue pursuing this self-employment venture, it is just not the right time."

And I waited...I waited for words of disappointment, I waited for some tongue-lashing and some frustrations...but...they did not come (WHY did I think THEY WOULD?!)...because I am still learning about GRACE, because sometimes I believe the lie that I need to have it "all-together"...because I am still learning that God's grace is enough and that there are still people out there who are willing to offer ME grace even when my own choices have caused them a set-back...

These are the words I received from several different people-
"Be kind to yourself."

This is what I received from an e-mail that touched my heart so much:

"I'm so grateful for your time and effort! We both know it's such a juggle and a striving for balance for us to be a mom, a wife, maintain employment and volunteer. Family always comes first as far as I'm concerned. Love those boys of yours and then "do the rest." I hate to tell you, but you're NOT getting fired!!! ;-) You're a valuable piece to this puzzle. I'm looking forward to working with you for as long as we both can muster it! ;-)"

The message: I am valuable even when I am failing...
(what?... GRACE...!!!) 
And then I repented- Lord, you are so gracious to me! You have never given me a reason not to trust you. Forgive me for taking on so much- I give it back to you and I am taking a new step forward in trusting you and deepening my dependence on you..."
And this is what the Lord said to me- "I've been waiting for you child. Climb up on my lap and let me hold you for awhile. You are chasing after too much, I am here, no need to chase, no need to run, the only thing you need to do is let me hold you and then when you have received what I have to give, you can jump off and run along and keep serving me and loving your family and I am here, let me take care of you!"

There is a war out there for our souls...and sometimes we let the Enemy speak too much into our lives...Amen?

I had to remember who my Enemy is and what He does. He steals, kills and destroys. 
BUT... the battles in my life belong to God and He will fight for me, I need only to be STILL.

2 Chronicles 20:15
He said: “Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: ‘Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God’s.'"
Exodus 14:14The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

Be Kind and Be Still- The Lord is fighting for you!

Lots of love,


JLong said...

Wow such a powerful lesson here for me. To remember that I am not failing God even if I fail xyz.

Elizabeth Jones said...

It blew me away as well...that I am valuable to God no matter what I DO or DON'T DO. I was in such a low moment...drowning really and those words were literally like a life preserver that was thrown to my burned out, weary spirit. God Bless!