Saturday, May 2, 2015

We Can't Accept Grace Without Accepting Our Mess


 
My house...it is a mess...there is stuff everywhere...the stuff of my life- bills, toys, clothes, scooters, work reports, laundry baskets overflowing, trash that needs to be taken out, Legos, OH SO MANY LEGOS...my house is a constant reminder of what a mess I am. And sometimes I think I have to have a bit of a show down with my house and prove that I am NOT the mess that my house reflects! :)




So...I go into a cleaning, straightening up FRENZY and once all surfaces are clear, carpet vacuumed and dishes put away, I get this strange idea in my head that I "have arrived", I sit down, look around and feel "settled", but NOT REALLY. Because the next day, it starts all over again...

Oh how many moments with my kids and my husband have I wasted because I HAD to pick up STUFF and move STUFF and clear off STUFF...

It's okay- it's part of how I COPE with my lack of control over life in general- not the worse thing in the world, but you know what is SO CRAZY NUTSO AMAZING AND FREEING?...

...when I STOP the STUFF SHUFFLE and just SIT WITH IT, sit with the mess and the chaos and just be ME and let my family be THEMSELVES, it is a thing of beauty my friends...for real...it really is...I accept the mess and I accept GRACE. I accept THEIR mess and they accept MY mess and we, together ACCEPT GRACE.

It is freeing and it is SO MUCH BETTER than SHUFFLING STUFF constantly and trying to make an image of what I think my life should look like. I accept the flaws and I accept GRACE.

Sometimes I seem surprised at how imperfect I am and how quickly I mess up, which is really silly, because the very nature of my being is to be a MESS.  When I accept my MESS I accept GRACE.

And God- this is what He does...

He looks at me in my MESS and when I stop and let Him look at Me, I can see a reflection in His Eyes of a Woman who is LOVED, HELD and BEAUTIFUL. I picture Him grabbing ahold of me and making me sit still on His lap. I picture Him looking at me in the eyes and telling me to SLOW and BREATHE and THANK and PRAISE and LAUGH and LOVE.

He does not ask me to PICK UP, CLEAN UP, SHUFFLE, and/or ORGANIZE MY "STUFF" (literally or on a deeper level)...
I can be an imperfect mess with lots of stuff to be shuffled and I can sit still and embrace my imperfection and when I do- He will SHOW UP and GET ALL THE GLORY for the beauty and life and light that He shines in me.

There will be NO DOUBT that it is Him when He does...
He chooses ME to LIVE IN and SHINE IN and LOVE THROUGH and SPEAK THROUGH and it is SO GLORIOUS and I am so UNDESERVING.

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL MESS. ALL OF YOU.
Today, I am choosing to embrace my imperfection and just sit with it and let God show up. I'm excited to see what He does. He is the MASTER ARTIST. You are HIS TAPESTRY. Beautifully Imperfect with flaws and cracks that are MADE FOR HOLY LIGHT TO SHINE THROUGH. So, SHINE ON!



    

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I needed this today. God has been telling me to be Intentional with my time with my children and to Enrich their lives by simply being with them. But my obsessive need to clean distracts me from that EVERY TIME. So thank you for this. It hit me in the heart.

Elizabeth Jones said...

Awww...I hear and feel your struggle. It is so hard sometimes. We need to keep some order in the house for sure, but we have to learn how to accept some of the chaos, dirt and clutter so that we can enjoy our kids. Some nights I stay up way late with my boys because honestly bedtime may be the first time I have "settled" down enough to truly connect with them. SO I let them stay up and we read tons of books. I think it is okay to compromise and work with your personality-quirks with this as well even if it means shifting the routine a bit or sometimes I let the boys sleep with me if it has been especially hectic. But this quote is something I have never heard before and I am trying to lean into this concept of my "mess" actually allowing more GRACE and connection with my family when I can just let it go...It is not easy but nothing ever is that grows us and helps us change. God Bless!