I just want to say: I'm sorry.
I have spent a lot of time judging you, without knowing you or your circumstances.
I was also jealous of you. (I know, right?)
I totally romanticized what your life must be like.
I dreamed of lunches out and meetings and paychecks and wearing real clothes and maybe even heels to work each day.
I envied your potential for friendships in the workplace and your opportunities to participate in conversations that do not revolve around PBS Sprout, or convincing a toddler to go potty.
Honesty? - I was also pretty intimidated by you.
I know what my days are like, as a SAHM who works part time as a volunteer. Busy, doesn't even begin.
I have no idea how you can be both a mom and work, too.
I suspect you might have super powers.
I feared that I could not do what you do.
Above all that judging and envying, in my head...I could hear my mom's wise words: "Never judge someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes."
Her words made me doubt my judgments. I decided to put them to a test. I decided to join you, as an experiment.
(And part of a book project- you can find out more about that on My website,and blog A Mile in Her Shoes.)
I was hired by a friend for some temp work.
Just a peek at what I learned during that week:
1) Lunches out cost money and time. (I was so busy I didn't have time to pee, let alone languish over a business lunch. Your mileage may vary of course.)
2) Paychecks don't go as afar as anyone wishes. Especially when childcare is a factor.
3) Wearing heels all day- still hurts. (Somehow, I forgot that. It's not like I never wear them.)
4) Getting young humans out the door in the morning on a schedule is probably the reason behind so many heart attacks occurring during the morning hours.
5) Being a "Mom" doesn't stop at the workplace door. (Kids like to call mom at work. A lot.)
6) Workplace friendships often involve workplace drama. (Who needs more drama in their life? No one. Justsayin. I forgot about that.)
7) Having a "Boss" to please and perform for- is STRESSFUL. I am hard enough on myself. Having to meet someone else's expectations is a whole 'nother layer of crazy.
8) Crockpots are straight from heaven.
9) Stop lights and train crossings are straight from... well, not heaven.
Let's leave it at that. (I rushed to work in the morning and home in the evening... During that week I acquired have more rushing yards than the entire history of rushing in the NFL. Did I just use a football analogy? Why yes, yes, I did.)
10) Being a Christian Working mom is hard. It's not a sitcom everyday.
However- If I had to I could do it.
Why? Not because of super powers... but, because I'm a Mom.
We do what we have to do, don't we?
So, Dear Working Mom- Heels (and whatever shoes you work in) off to you!
You are amazing.
As are we all.
SAHM, Working, Work part time-insert your mommy type- here.
I love getting to know you.
And now that I'm less of a judgmental jerk, I hope we can be friends.
We just might be able to learn a lot from each other.
It's possible I may not be the only one envying and romanticizing someone else's life;)
I certainly thought being a SAHM would be more "picture perfect" than it actually is...;)
So, dear ones, What would you add?
- What would you like SAHM's to know about being a working mom?
- Are there things about being a SAHM that you may envy or romanticize?
- Things you judge?
- How can we better understand and support each other?
- Let's talk. Because I truly believe we're better, together.
She believes that life is a journey meant to be shared. Tracey has been married to her husband-Kyle for nearly 25 years. She is a Mom to three sons-one in each of the last three decades…Mike 24, Matt 20 and (yes- SURPRISE!) Noah- who’s 11.
She dreams of: Encouraging and equipping women to live authentically and love fully, and by doing so- to make a difference in their world. (I also dream of having the whole house clean at one time… . but that will probably never happen.)