Thursday, August 13, 2015

When People Hurt You

...I started writing this post a couple weeks ago and had to take a break. I hope it encourages someone who is feeling hurt...

Sometimes people say words that really sting. Sometimes people ignore your needs, your feelings, and don't even seem to see you. Sometimes these are the people who are supposed to love you the best.

What do we do when people hurt us?  I'll tell you what I usually do- I shut down, I become passive aggressive, I hurt back. My defenses go up and my focus is on self protection.

One of the things I know for sure, is that God is pro-relationships. God wants our friendships, marriages, etc. to be positive, nurturing, and loving.

Another thing I know for sure, is that people are sinners. People struggle, they have bad days, they have bad weeks, months and years. And sometimes these are the people that we live with, work with, do ministry with. And yet – there is a purpose for these relationships that we have.

Additionally, people also come with their own "blueprint" for how to navigate relationships – and often times the blueprint contains a lot of lies and unhealthy ways of relating. Sometimes we can look back in a person's past see where the patterns were established. This perspective can often times give us grace and a bit more understanding.

Lastly- I know that my initial impressions and hurt feelings cannot be my guide to how I react to the person who has hurt me. They really cannot. Easy for me to say, hard for me to apply to my life. But I want to try. 

One thing I try to remember when I am hurt by one of my main people, is that there is nothing more that Satan loves than to divide. 

So my focus needs to be on uniting.

No matter what the other person's response, no matter how I feel,  I need to remember what my focus is – to stay on the same side, remain on the same team, and to link arms-at least in prayer- if anywhere else, with the person who has hurt me. The only way, is through forgiveness.

A really cool thing about God is that he can take a small offering and make it huge.

 He can take my small amount of forgiveness and if I offer it to him in obedience and humility, He can make it enough. 

The other thing He can do- is use my moment of pain to draw me closer to Himself.

I was feeling hurt the other day, and a song came on the radio – the same song came on the day before, I sang it, but the words did not resonate with my heart. The day that I heard it after being hurt, my heart grabbed a hold of every word and I sang them in total worship.

When people hurt us, is no fun. But I have also learned that God is able to take those moments and bring about some of His glory.  And when I am in this moments of hurt, all I need is a little glimpse of what He is up to that I can hold onto the hope that it is not in vain.

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