Ever Feel Inadequate as a Mom? Here's (Surprising)
Good News:
There are many schools of thought in motherhood, but at some point we all feel we aren't doing enough for our kids. Sometimes you even feel who you are isn't enough. And lots of experts try to reassure you that you are enough.
I'm not one of them.
Before I explain why this is really good news for both you
and your kids, let me explain how I know it's true.
Why
You're not Enough
Since becoming a mom almost 15 years ago, I've spent about 97% of my time with my children. I nurse every baby until they're over two. I read to them for hours every day. I prepare each meal from scratch using organic whole foods. But before you write me off as an annoying supermom, you need to know one more detail about my mothering:
Since becoming a mom almost 15 years ago, I've spent about 97% of my time with my children. I nurse every baby until they're over two. I read to them for hours every day. I prepare each meal from scratch using organic whole foods. But before you write me off as an annoying supermom, you need to know one more detail about my mothering:
It's not enough.
If I read for three hours, my children were disappointed
it wasn't four. If I set the baby down after holding her for five hours, she
wanted to be held longer. If I gave them two snacks every day, they wanted
three.
Our kids were bottomless pits of demand. They were never
satisfied. They needed an adult to say "enough" because it wasn't in
their vocabulary.
Why it's
Good News
Like I said earlier, this is good news, for you and your kids. It provides you with daily opportunities to point them to the only One who is enough. When they feel the need to call out to Him, He'll answer.
Like I said earlier, this is good news, for you and your kids. It provides you with daily opportunities to point them to the only One who is enough. When they feel the need to call out to Him, He'll answer.
Admitting you aren't enough will remind you to call out to
Him more, and He'll answer you too. I noticed a major shift in our family when
I stopped pretending I was enough. Admitting it didn't just take the pressure
off me, it was a relief for everyone.
What You
Can Do
Shift your focus from satisfying everyone to listening to everyone. When I try to protect my kids from disappointment, they're often disappointed. When I stop trying to fix it and truly listen, let them express their feelings, and point them to God, they experience more peace. It's no longer about my ego, it's about each child developing a vibrant relationship with the only parent who will ever be enough.
Shift your focus from satisfying everyone to listening to everyone. When I try to protect my kids from disappointment, they're often disappointed. When I stop trying to fix it and truly listen, let them express their feelings, and point them to God, they experience more peace. It's no longer about my ego, it's about each child developing a vibrant relationship with the only parent who will ever be enough.
Now it's time for action: If this post was helpful to you,
please share it with another
mom. And for bonus
points, take a moment to affirm
another woman as a mother. Point out a specific way she blesses
her family.
Who can you encourage and affirm as a mom today?
She developed a simple process to help busy moms get more out of their quiet time (even if you're not a morning person!)
Hannah! This is one of those posts I will return to again and again as I work towards listening more than working my tail off trying to keep my kids happy and their needs met constantly. This is extremely freeing for me. I love that it is focused on pointing them to God. Thank you so much for sharing this with all of us today!
ReplyDeleteJust amazing! And liz is right...quite freeing! Thank you for this perspective.
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